The cold is back. I took a short walk and that already was enough time to feel like I was about to freeze into the ground if I didn’t keep walking.
Even my hair froze.
Sure feels great to come back inside. Was refreshing though, if I have to comment the cold in any way. I wasn’t entirely awake earlier today. Can’t say the same now, haha.
It’s back to the dorm tonight again which means back to reality tomorrow. And I don’t really mind it. Or do I? I’m not sure. As I haven’t been over a lot of things lately. But I don’t think it’s relapse. It’s just that my brain likes to think negatively over a lot of things. Which isn’t too fun. Quite exhausting really. So I really admire people who can stay positive. That takes a lot of strenght. And I hope I can achieve that myself at some point.
I’m turning 19 today. Feels a bit odd, haha. Cause like I said a year ago, when I was just about to turn 18, I said that I still feel mentally 5 years old. So I guess I’ll go with that one now aswell. Here is an old post from a year ago. My writing since that may have changed a little.
The number coming up next year though is a bit.. whoah. But let’s not talk about that now and let’s just see what the age 19 and 2016 has in store for me.
Also later this year, in September, my blog turns 2 years old. Which also feels a bit crazy cause I have over 250 people following me on here and I haven’t really shared this blog much and I’m not especially interesting either. People seem to have found me and taken interest in my random daily-life posts anyways which makes all of you amazing, so thank you so much for taking time to read my stuff.
Today I have nothing planned actually. I have a day off and there is snow outside so I’d like to go out to take photos. Also a possible trip to pick up my brother later on and of course – coffee and cake. Call me old fashioned but I think that’s a huge part of birthdays.
As you may have noticed, this blog has been very quiet these past days. And that is simply because I have felt really damn depressed and anxious recently. So I just can’t focus on blogging at the moment and I honestly have no motivation to be fake-happy right now, because like everyone else, I am a human being. And I bend, I snap and I break – and I’m being 100% real about it.
It now may seem like I think I actually am somoene with my preaching about my crappy condition but this is my blog so I thought I’d mention it here on my blog if anyone happens to wonder.
In other words – I need to sort myself out so in mean time my blog might be a bit deserted. But I’ll be back.
So it’s 7.37 in the morning and I’m super tired cause I haven’t got up this early since December 17th, which is quite some time ago.
And I’m going back to school today.
And I’m not excited.
And my sleep cycle is still beyond screwed up.
And it’s still over -20C outside.. Only things I’m looking forward to about going to school, is to see people I haven’t seen over the holidays and to use the school wifi again. I feel really exhausted already which is odd cause all I did was wake up.
My depressing mood might also be because of a memorial I went to yesterday, which I wont go in to much detail about.
This post is brought to you by a complaining finnish person, under a blanket.
The weather today isn’t very pleasant. I went outside once to get the mail, and simply by doing that, I almost froze my fingers off. I feel like heating up our sauna and just live there until the weather gets it’s shit together. I don’t like this at all. But luckily the weather is gonna get warmer on the weekend so maybe I’ll be able to get out of the house cause right now I feel trapped. So hopefully those days will come soon.
I have my first day of school on Friday. And I’m a little nervous how that’s gonna go because my whole christmas break, I’ve stayed up during the nights and slept away half the day. And I’ve done this for nearly 3 weeks now. So to sum it up: my sleep cycle is screwed.
The thing is I just happen to love staying up late. And sleeping half the day is pretty great when you don’t need to go anywhere. So now I’m just worried how the hell I’m gonna switch from waking up around 12 mid-day everyday to going back to setting my alarm to 7 in the morning. That sounds horrible. Cause I know I’ll just end up pushing snooze 4 times. Yeah, I’m not a morning person.
That’s my thoughts of today. And please don’t say I’m the only one with this, haha.
This is just gonna be something quick to start off the new year on this blog aswell.
2016 is here. And I have made no resolutions. I always fail terribly of keeping my resolutions, cause I remember them for like a week. Then it’s back to same old ways.
So this year, I’m just gonna dive straight into the year. No strings attatched. And I decided I won’t even try to change anything in my daily life because I’m perfectly okay with the way my life is at the moment. And I see no reason to change just because the year does. So I’ll leave it to that.
But happy new year to you all and lets hope it’s a good one ❤