life

Casual Friday Morning

Good morning world

It is currently 11.56 in the morning and I have had the best sleep in a very long time cause my sleep schedule of the last weeks has been terrible. So I feel pretty good.

Now I’m just here scrolling through WeHeartIt as I feel quite inspired for some reason. Sleep does wonders 🙂

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I am still on my coffee detox, that’s supposed to last a month. It is an entire week today. I have been so close to caving in though but somehow I haven’t. I am surprised by myself, actually. But it only remains to see if it really will last a month, haha.

Also this past Monday I got my new glasses. Or the TV Screens as I’ve nicknamed them, cause thats what they look like to me. I have wanted glasses like this for years now and now I finally have. So even though I very rarely post selfies on here, here goes:

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Have a good day 🙂

diary · life

one of the worst feelings in the world

Hello world

I started my first day of my last 6 weeks of work experience today. I’m just gonna do my thing to get this done cause I graduate after this. Luckily as I feared my anxiety would ruin everything. But it worked out.

Also wanted to talk about another thing. Do you know what one of the worst feelings in the world is? It’s unintentionally hurting someone you love the most in the entire world, because all the stress and the anxiety messes you up and you can’t control it. That happened to me yesterday and it was the worst. Luckily this person is one of the most lovely people on this planet and had the heart to move on from this. But I am forever gonna remind myself that this can’t happen again. Cause even though I am not the most emotionally stable person, I still think that this outburst was beyond me. And this post is here to remind me to not repeat this terrible mistake.

Cause after all this person keeps me alive and has saved my life by simply being there for me. And that’s irreplaceable.

Alright, that’s all I have for today. Hope you have a good day!

life · Uncategorized

Answering Random Questions

Hello world!

I am in a random question answering-mood at the moment (I am not so good at word-combinations, haha) and I very rarely do posts like this so I thought I’d answer some today. These questions are picked very randomly cause I thought that would make it slightly more original.

Here we go 🙂

1. If you could change your name to anything, what would it be and why?
At the moment I am actually very satisfied with my name and I wouldn’t change it if I could but when I was younger I always wanted a shorter name – but very typically can’t think of any now that I’m supposed to, haha

2. If you could go back in time and give your younger self advice, what would it be?
Don’t try to be someone you’re not just to feel accepted, because even if you don’t feel accepted now, you will later on in life. And don’t always be so hard on yourself. Dare to talk to someone and don’t let it get any worse. As you’re older you’ll realize that none of that drama in secondary school matters later on in life.

3. What’s your favorite thing to do when you’re upset?
Listen to music on very high volume with my headphones on. I have a developed a freakishly good ability to lose myself in songs, so doing this is the best thing I know when I’m upset. I listen to music all the time too as well and I could probably set a world record for being a very overactive headphone-user and have the very poor luck of them breaking easily.

4. If you had one personal ”selfish” wish, what would it be?
To visit every european country. 

5. How many siblings do you have?
I have two younger brothers of the ages 13 and 16.

6. How old will you be turning on your next birthday?
I will be turning 20. Which is a bit unreal to me, haha.

7. Have you ever had an all-nighter?
I don’t think I have actually. I have what I call the ‘sleep gene’ which is something that runs in my dad’s family where people fall asleep very easily and sleep quite deeply. So even though I’ve attempted to pull an all-nighter, I don’t think it’s possible. Believe me, I’ve tried.

8. Do you collect anything?
Um, yes, haha. I collect Eurovision Song Contest – CD’s. I started back in 2006 which means I have almost every CD from then. I also used to collect rocks as a kid. Nothing special though. I literally just went outside and picked up rocks I thought looked nice.

9. What is your sexual orientation?
I identify as asexual.

10. Last song you listened to?
YOUTH by Troye Sivan. That song is so amazing.

11. Do you like animals?
100% yes

12. What experience in life has affected you the most?
This post goes from very depressing instantly now because of this question, but I am only being honest. There’s two answers. First being very depressed and suicidal for 5 years in a row and last christmas when my grandmother passed.

13. If you had the option to become ‘perfect’, would you?
No, I don’t think, cause even if I was, I feel like there would still be very much pressure to stay that way. And considering what a shallow world we seem to live in, it also wouldn’t surprise me if that would lead to me getting shitloads of hate for it. And I don’t think I am recovered enough to deal with that. I also think perfection is overrated. Be yourselves, people.

14. What language would you like to be able to fluently speak?
I already speak 3 languages fluently, but I am fascinated by loads of languages more that I’d like to be able to speak, like Russian, Italian and French.

15. Biggest pet peeve?
People who complain over others making the slightest mistake and then sees nothing wrong with their own actions even if it’s 3 times worse. In other words people who say one thing and do another and can’t stand for their own actions. Especially if people like this are considered adults already. I can’t stand them basically acting like they’re in preschool. I’m sorry but no, it’s not okay.

16. What is your star sign?
Capricorn

17. Worst fear/fears?
I am terrified of wasps because I have had very unpleasant experiences with them in my childhood. I also am quite claustrophobic

18. What bands/singers do you listen to the most?
Marina and the Diamonds, Ed Sheeran, James Arthur and Muse

19. Something you look forward to?
At the moment, I am really looking forward to when my new glasses come in. Also looking forward to graduation

20. How many countries have you been to?
At the moment there are three on the list. Hopefully more to come 🙂

Alright, these were a few random questions. Hopefully someone can relate on some of them.

That’s all I have for today. Have a good day, everyone 🙂